i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
