I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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