I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
