Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
