Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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