The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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