plz talk dirty to me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Bring me that man meat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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