I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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