She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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