and i looked up. we had an audience...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
