Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
