I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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