UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is wine microwaveable?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
