you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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