Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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