u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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