So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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