you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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