i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
