Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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