you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The uberlube is also flammable
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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