ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
