She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize