Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
