That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
