so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
