Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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