If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
