You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
