that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
