i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
