OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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