She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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