Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
