That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
