wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
