So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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