tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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