She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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