We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
