ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
