The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
