I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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