I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will die if light touches me.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
