Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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