Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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