i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
