I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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