you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
