make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
