remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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