Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
