You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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