yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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