Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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