the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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