I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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