That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
