I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
