I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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