Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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