Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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