two words: eviction party
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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