I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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