trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
