This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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