Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
