The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
