It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
