but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
