You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
